Where Do You Go to My Lovely?

5 min readJun 3, 2021

I am loving “Anne Boleyn”, Channel 5’s “three-part intimate psychological thriller, told from a new perspective — hers.” I am also enjoying “Natalie Haynes Stands Up for the Classics”, a radio 4 programme which takes a fresh look at the ancient world, creating stand-up routines about figures from ancient Greece and Rome. History and mythology that goes beyond, the usual stories of male leaders and their battles, has so much to teach us. I also love the title of the Guardian’s review “Anne Boleyn review — spoiler alert: she won’t make it out alive!” and the fact that “Turner-Smith’s casting caused a stir because she is of Jamaican descent.” “Natives: Race & Class in the Ruins of Empire by Akala”, deals with some of that.

These programmes and the conversations around them have reminded me of the importance of access: who has it, who denies it to others and who outlines a more inclusive map. I like maps: they can help you, find where you are and decide where you want to be. It’s great being good at navigating and finding your away around a supermarket, a town or country. Maps prevent you from getting lost and give you access to all the opportunities and pleasures that are around.

It would be brilliant to have a map that, for instance, helped you navigate social or business situations. What do you say, how do you respond when, for instance, someone tells you, you are the rudest person they have ever met, you are told that the smell of your food travels through a neighbour’s wall or a stranger, on a plane, wants to talk about arranged marriages when you would rather concentrate, on a common experience, such as the holiday!?

Access

I recently went to visit a friend, in an unfamiliar part of town, so looked up the Transport for London’s journey planner. It gave me the public transport route. I set of, assuming there would be a map, by the bus stop, telling me in which direction I was to “continue along”. The map, however, turned out to be next to useless. It did not have a “you are here” arrow and was too high. The index was at the bottom, so I managed to make out where I was and where I needed to be. The only problem was, that both points were in the top right-hand corner of the map. That is standing, on my toes made no difference, so I had to wait until someone taller or with a smart phone turned up. It reminded me of another time when the square I needed was sprayed with graffiti!

I also recall a time when a fiancé asked me to direct him. He however, just gave me an Atlas and decided to drive so fast, that I never managed to get my bearing. No surprise, we never got married!

I have worked for organisations, that have spent much time promoting or working out policies, which is a map of sorts. Helps you figure out how to behave and what your responsibilities are. Policies do not mean, however, that everyone in the organisation follows them. Also are you supposed to simply carry on doing your best or promote how well you are doing so you can get promoted to your level of incompetence: the Peter Principle?” Most social interaction, in an organisation occurs around the kettle, watercooler, canteen or toilet but what do you do if you are fasting or there is no staff room or canteen?

This afternoon, as I was waiting for another bus, a lady asked me for help. She had banged her head so had a headache and was quite disorientated. She wanted, to be told exactly which bus and where to get it. I also told her to contact her doctor regarding the bump on her head!

We were given a map, of sorts, when we were young. Fairy stories tended to tell girls that if, they were beautiful and good, they would get their prince. A boy, to be a prince, needed to be able to “swashbuckle” and find his sensitive princess!

Redlines

What do you do when faced with a red line that you are told cannot be crossed?

What do you do when, you are told that women are not allowed to attend Presidential press conferences? What do you do if you attend a meeting and are told, in no uncertain terms, that the meeting is segregated along colour lines and even if it isn't, the men will only talk to you, when they need too. What do you do when you find out your husband is having an affair or wants to have sex but not make babies? What do you when you find out an opera singer is barred from singing at a concert because of the colour of her skin? What do you do if someone accuses you, of saying something, that you could never have said?

Well, if you are Eleanor Roosevelt, you have your own press conference, two days before your husband’s first presidential press conference and you only let women in! You also organise a huge concert at the Lincoln memorial so, at least, 75,000 people can hear Marian Anderson sing. What do you when you are being presented, with a false image of yourself in a very public place: protest, perhaps, far too much!

What do you do if the Prime Minster of your country has made jokes about Muslim women looking like letterboxes or who seems to make friends with racist or xenophobes: “Viktor Orban: No 10 criticises Hungarian PM ahead of Boris Johnson talks?”. I congratulate him, on his most recent marriage but interested to hear that he was able to marry, at Westminster Cathedral. It turns out out that, “although Mr Johnson, 56, has been married twice before, the Roman Catholic Church can allow divorcees to remarry if the previous marriages were outside the Roman Catholic Church.” “Christopher Lamb, Rome correspondent for Catholic magazine The Tablet, told BBC Radio 5 Live: “There will be a feeling that, why are some people who are divorced allowed to be married in the church and others not? “And I think that’s where the Church, can look at its current rules and see how it can become more welcoming. It has been welcoming to Boris Johnson, why not to others?” Reminds me, Henry 8th married Anne Boleyn, after denying his first marriage ever took place and making his daughter, Mary illegitimate!